Last Updated: May 31, 1998

Toni's Deep Thoughts:

  • Don't sweat the petty things and Don't pet the sweaty things.
  • Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  • If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
  • I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
  • If a mute swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  • And whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word Lisp?
  • If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him....Is he still wrong?
  • Is there another word for synonym?
  • Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?
  • What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  • If a parsley farmer is sued do they garnish his wages?
  • Would a wingless fly be called a walk?
  • Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they worried someone will clean them?
  • Is a shelless turtle homeless or just naked?
  • If a mime is arrested do they tell him he has the right to talk?
  • Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
  • Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
  • Is it true that cannibals won't eat clowns because they taste funny?
  • What was the best thing before sliced bread?

    

More to follow . . . . . . . . . . . . . .